Well, I'll say it's been awhile, eh? I've been wanting to write up a new post but what to say? What to say...
I thought that maybe it would be more interesting to start a new project and post my progress. So... My newest project is photography related! Go figure! I happened across this blog and saw that she was starting lessons in photography and finiding your artistic side: Paislee Press So I'm gonna give it a shot. So in saying that, watch for my posts on Fridays/Saturdays (whichever happens to be less crammed with activities).
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
New Year
I've been hearing a lot of optimism for this new year and I want to chime in! Here are my 2010 resolutions:
1. Finish what I start. This is really hard for me. I love starting new projects but eventually lose interest and drop it altogether. I need to kick this habit!
2. Tie up loose ends. This sort of trickles downs from the first resolution but embraces more serious agendas. I need to finish and submit my divorce paperwork. I've already changed around my schedule to allow this to happen. Now I just need to walk into the courthouse and get it done. I have admittedly have mixed feelings but It needs to be taken care of.
3. Stop using credit. I am going to make this resolution as tangible as possible. I'm not going to vow to pay it off completely- just to stop using it this year. If I can do this, I will have paid at least $3600 down on them by the end of the year.
I'm going to leave it at 3 for the entire year. If I tackle anything extra, yay for me :D
I do have good feelings for the coming year. I want this new decade to be one of renewal, hope and happiness. It begins with me and only I can determine how this will turn out. Well, so far so good.
1. Finish what I start. This is really hard for me. I love starting new projects but eventually lose interest and drop it altogether. I need to kick this habit!
2. Tie up loose ends. This sort of trickles downs from the first resolution but embraces more serious agendas. I need to finish and submit my divorce paperwork. I've already changed around my schedule to allow this to happen. Now I just need to walk into the courthouse and get it done. I have admittedly have mixed feelings but It needs to be taken care of.
3. Stop using credit. I am going to make this resolution as tangible as possible. I'm not going to vow to pay it off completely- just to stop using it this year. If I can do this, I will have paid at least $3600 down on them by the end of the year.
I'm going to leave it at 3 for the entire year. If I tackle anything extra, yay for me :D
I do have good feelings for the coming year. I want this new decade to be one of renewal, hope and happiness. It begins with me and only I can determine how this will turn out. Well, so far so good.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Mondays
Mondays are supposed to be bad days traditionally. Mine have been somewhat relaxing. I choose to change my work schedule to Tues-Saturday so I could utilize Monday to get stuff done/relax/fart around. I throughly enjoy Monday.
I've also been taking these days to get to know Tacoma. I take different routes and get myself lost intentionally. Because Tacoma is set up very grid-like, it's super easy to navigate. So long as you understand all the roads stretch from one side of Tacoma to the other -the differences in region determines whether or not you're north or the south. I live in the North-end district of Tacoma sandwiched between Stadium district and Proctor District; the nice side of Tacoma. Literally 2 blocks east and you're in Hilltop- often thought of as the ghetto. Yes, it a little more modest than the rest of Tacoma but it's not as bad as it used to be. It's not run down, just very simple.
The upside to living in Tacoma is the vast resources available to people like me. Low income, single mom, dependant upon DSHS for a few resources. It's not hard to find places that offer financial aid. YMCA offers it and I'm definitely going to take advantage as soon as January. Another benefit to living here are libraries are scattered throughout as well as discount stores, thrift stores, antique stores... its easy to save money here.
The downside, in my opinion, are the hills. I hate driving on the hills in the rain and ice. I've already experienced rear ending someone (ironically- not in Tacoma)and it's a horrible feeling in your gut to know you're about to hit someone and dispite your efforts to keep your foot on the break, you sail right into their bumper. I'm still irritated over it. I want desparately not to have a repeat episode. I drive like a grandma in Tacoma. It's okay. Laugh, pass me or honk your horn- I am NOT going to go through the shock of hitting another car or god forbid- a person.
Anyhow, back on topic. Mondays. They're my ME days. I don't go out and get a McDonalds Frappe or anything... but sometimes I do induldge in white mochas and thirft stores. All by myself. Once the crazy time of year passes, I'll take care of important business on Mondays but for now, I need the downtime to just revel in the quiet.
Here are some random photos to tide y'all until the next post. Cheers!
I've also been taking these days to get to know Tacoma. I take different routes and get myself lost intentionally. Because Tacoma is set up very grid-like, it's super easy to navigate. So long as you understand all the roads stretch from one side of Tacoma to the other -the differences in region determines whether or not you're north or the south. I live in the North-end district of Tacoma sandwiched between Stadium district and Proctor District; the nice side of Tacoma. Literally 2 blocks east and you're in Hilltop- often thought of as the ghetto. Yes, it a little more modest than the rest of Tacoma but it's not as bad as it used to be. It's not run down, just very simple.
The upside to living in Tacoma is the vast resources available to people like me. Low income, single mom, dependant upon DSHS for a few resources. It's not hard to find places that offer financial aid. YMCA offers it and I'm definitely going to take advantage as soon as January. Another benefit to living here are libraries are scattered throughout as well as discount stores, thrift stores, antique stores... its easy to save money here.
The downside, in my opinion, are the hills. I hate driving on the hills in the rain and ice. I've already experienced rear ending someone (ironically- not in Tacoma)and it's a horrible feeling in your gut to know you're about to hit someone and dispite your efforts to keep your foot on the break, you sail right into their bumper. I'm still irritated over it. I want desparately not to have a repeat episode. I drive like a grandma in Tacoma. It's okay. Laugh, pass me or honk your horn- I am NOT going to go through the shock of hitting another car or god forbid- a person.
Anyhow, back on topic. Mondays. They're my ME days. I don't go out and get a McDonalds Frappe or anything... but sometimes I do induldge in white mochas and thirft stores. All by myself. Once the crazy time of year passes, I'll take care of important business on Mondays but for now, I need the downtime to just revel in the quiet.
Here are some random photos to tide y'all until the next post. Cheers!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Things have changed so much and so dramatically over the last 6 months. I certainly won't go into detail. I think I will just pick up from here and move on towards the future. I don't know if this blog will take on a different flavor but I hope it provokes hope, laughter and serious thoughts along the way. The journey has taken a different turn and new experiences have made their presence known. For the sake of respect and accuracy, I've decided to leave the older posts intact. The only things I've changed are my 100 goals; but not much.
Life inside Borders seems to be nearing an end, even if they won't admit it. It's not just the economy that's pushing it out the door either. Micro-managing, belittling, cutting and haggling are getting the job done just fine. In spirit of protecting myself and Jamie, I've decided to ask for help in going back to school. There's a woman I've been meeting with. For lack of a better name, I call her the 'Resources Lady'. She was referred to be by Jamie's school and she basically spends all her time researching and recommending resources for moms all over Tacoma that need help. She doesn't limit herself to only financial help either. I've tossed many needs her way and she jumps on each one with vigor and determination. In turn, she holds me accountable to a timeline to complete tasks and get things done. I've already booked an appointment to get Jamie seen by a doctor that should hopefully refer him to be seen by an Asperger's specialist. She helped me with insurance recommendations and the name of her favorite kids' doctor.
My current appeal to her was my interest in going back to school and if there were any resources that I can take advantage of because of my hearing disablity. She's already given me a few names but promises phone numbers the next time she visits. I'm pretty excited about this! I want to pursue Photography and/or design so I'm really hoping this will pan out! The only thing that holds me back are finances. I expressed to her my worries about paying bills if I were to go back to school full-time. She said she'd look into options for me. All I'm doing now is waiting for her phone call to set up another apointment to share info.
Other than this, Jamie and I have been painting ceramic ornaments in anticipation of our tree that we'll chop down tomorrow. I got a new camera and plan to take photos to share tomorrow night :) Stay tuned! I promise more posts and photographs. But for now, good night!
Life inside Borders seems to be nearing an end, even if they won't admit it. It's not just the economy that's pushing it out the door either. Micro-managing, belittling, cutting and haggling are getting the job done just fine. In spirit of protecting myself and Jamie, I've decided to ask for help in going back to school. There's a woman I've been meeting with. For lack of a better name, I call her the 'Resources Lady'. She was referred to be by Jamie's school and she basically spends all her time researching and recommending resources for moms all over Tacoma that need help. She doesn't limit herself to only financial help either. I've tossed many needs her way and she jumps on each one with vigor and determination. In turn, she holds me accountable to a timeline to complete tasks and get things done. I've already booked an appointment to get Jamie seen by a doctor that should hopefully refer him to be seen by an Asperger's specialist. She helped me with insurance recommendations and the name of her favorite kids' doctor.
My current appeal to her was my interest in going back to school and if there were any resources that I can take advantage of because of my hearing disablity. She's already given me a few names but promises phone numbers the next time she visits. I'm pretty excited about this! I want to pursue Photography and/or design so I'm really hoping this will pan out! The only thing that holds me back are finances. I expressed to her my worries about paying bills if I were to go back to school full-time. She said she'd look into options for me. All I'm doing now is waiting for her phone call to set up another apointment to share info.
Other than this, Jamie and I have been painting ceramic ornaments in anticipation of our tree that we'll chop down tomorrow. I got a new camera and plan to take photos to share tomorrow night :) Stay tuned! I promise more posts and photographs. But for now, good night!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Photos!
A beautiful image from my latest session of Brittany and Marty :)
A silly image of Jamie...
I need to vent a bit about photography lately... I think I need some serious classes/therapy sessions (?) soon. Maybe I'm rusty from this extended break from taking photos or maybe my camera is being wacko... or I could be losing my touch but something just isn't sitting right with taking pictures. I feel like my creativity is non-existent. For the most part, I can set my camera up but when it comes to taking the shot, something is missing. I'm frustrated that I lack the crispness I desire, the perfect fleeting moments because the shutter clicks too slow, the heavy reliance on wide open aperture (as opposed to gaining comfort with shooting f/3.5 or higher). Not that there's anything wrong with shooting between f/1.4 and f/2.8... but I feel like I use them too often and it's causing me to miss opportunities or perspectives. I know this sounds like a lot of jargon but in layman's terms, I'm nervous about slowing my shutter speed down due to lack of light reaching my camera. When I shoot wide open, this lets me 'snap' faster. The draw back is the heavy blurring surrounding my main subject. While, I love the effect most of the time but sometimes, I want to make the entire shot crisp with details. This is difficult because the higher I go with f-stops, the longer it'll take my shutter to click, the more out of focus/blurry my entire image will be. I really don't want to haul around a tripod or my flash. *sigh* Guess I just need to step outside my comfort zone more often and just run with it.
A silly image of Jamie...
I need to vent a bit about photography lately... I think I need some serious classes/therapy sessions (?) soon. Maybe I'm rusty from this extended break from taking photos or maybe my camera is being wacko... or I could be losing my touch but something just isn't sitting right with taking pictures. I feel like my creativity is non-existent. For the most part, I can set my camera up but when it comes to taking the shot, something is missing. I'm frustrated that I lack the crispness I desire, the perfect fleeting moments because the shutter clicks too slow, the heavy reliance on wide open aperture (as opposed to gaining comfort with shooting f/3.5 or higher). Not that there's anything wrong with shooting between f/1.4 and f/2.8... but I feel like I use them too often and it's causing me to miss opportunities or perspectives. I know this sounds like a lot of jargon but in layman's terms, I'm nervous about slowing my shutter speed down due to lack of light reaching my camera. When I shoot wide open, this lets me 'snap' faster. The draw back is the heavy blurring surrounding my main subject. While, I love the effect most of the time but sometimes, I want to make the entire shot crisp with details. This is difficult because the higher I go with f-stops, the longer it'll take my shutter to click, the more out of focus/blurry my entire image will be. I really don't want to haul around a tripod or my flash. *sigh* Guess I just need to step outside my comfort zone more often and just run with it.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
What's going on?
I'm sure I've got some curious questions so I wanted to take some time to fill my friends and family in on what's happened to me recently.
On Saturday around 4am, I woke up with severe stomach pains. I felt this the previous weekend so I thought I would just try to work through it and it would eventually go away. I would later find myself on the bathroom floor, my entire body covered in sweat and totally weak. Eventually, I'd find some strength to get back into bed until another round of chills/fever would break through and I'd get myself back to the cold comfort of the bathroom floor before passing out. Finally after about 3 or 4 rounds of this and about 6 hours later, Mike would call my parents to see if they'd watch Jamie so we could figure out what was wrong at the doctor's office. Luckily, my parents were already in Bonney Lake shopping. Once they arrived, I was curled up on my bed but starting to feel a little better except for the tiny, jabbing spasms that would happen under my right ribcage. Eventually those spasms would extend to my shoulder, causing my breathing to get caught in my throat.
I tried to get up to get to the car but every attempt would end in me seeing all white and needing to get back down. That's when Mike decided that we'd go to the ER instead. I remember thinking that it felt so good to be outside and I could smell the freshly cut grass. I could sense my head clearing up and I started to wonder if I was making a big deal out of this. The ride to the ER was pretty uneventful but once it came time to get out of the car and walk to the doors, my body started to give away. I could hear someone asking if I needed a wheelchair and next thing I know, I'm sitting down, kind of spawled out. I could remember seeing two people in line ahead of me, giving me worried glances until a nurse would finally ask them if it was alright that I cut in front of them. I only saw the nurse for a minute before they rushed me to a bed and started to strip me of my clothes.
Then all the questions began; typical ones about my age, wheather I smoked or drank, my birthday, inquiries about the possibility of being pregnant. I remember feeling clear headed enough to answer their questions.
After awhile, there was a flurry of people, being poked several times with needles, getting my blood pressure checked and then the real pain started to happen. The doctor came in to nudge my stomach in several areas until he reached my ribs. The pain was so unbarable and I started to clutch my shoulder. He asked why I was holding my shoulder if my ribs hurt and I tried to tell him between gasping breaths that it was hurting my shoulders too. I couldn't control how fast the spasms were happening and I just remember kind of flopping on the bed each time, arching my back and gasping for breath. I kept asking for something to relax me but they'd keep telling me my bloodpressure was too low for them to give me anything. I'd demand Mike to tell me about something trival, anything, to keep me from overreacting and getting emotional. I couldn't stop thinking about the worse. They told me they think I was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy that burst one of my ovaries and now they feared I was bleeding internally. This would explain why I felt severe shoulder pain, due to the blood reaching my diaphram. After they conducted an ultrasound to see how much fluid was inside, they asked me what my blood type was and I replied between painful breaths that I was O negative. The doctor shook his head at Mike and I felt myself overreacting again.
He came over to tell me that my type was the hardest for them to obtain but if I needed a transfusion, which was likely, that I needed to sign a release. I couldn't sign it and asked Mike to do it on my behalf.
Finally, the operating room was ready. I could feel myself start to relax, knowing that they'd knock me out and I'd be asleep. I remember them wheeling me down the hallways and I could see myself in the occasional mirror. I was shocked at how white I was. I had no color to my lips.
Once I woke from the surgery, I started crying. It was rather painful but I couldn't make myself stop. The nurse told me I needed to try to calm myself but I just couldn't. There was another person in the room with me but I couldn't see him. I knew he was old and I immediately started to slow my crying. She told me they removed one of my ovaries and drained nearly 2 units of blood. No transfusion was necessary. The nurse assured me that I was alright and began to take me to my room.
I had to spend two nights at the hospital but I'm so lucky to have so many visitors and text messages :) It was a horrible experience but I'm happy to say I'm spending the next 2 weeks on the mend. Today is the first day I actually don't have a headache. It's still hard to get up and walk around but I feel a little better. I sleep very well at night, thanks to Vicadin lol :)
Anyway, I thought I'd share this with anybody who was wondering... I'll probably make all my grammer/spelling corrections another time. Thanks again, to everyone who bought me flowers, candy, magazines and brought their smiles and conversation. I really love having visitors so please, don't feel shy if you ever want to come visit me. :) I'm pretty lucky!
On Saturday around 4am, I woke up with severe stomach pains. I felt this the previous weekend so I thought I would just try to work through it and it would eventually go away. I would later find myself on the bathroom floor, my entire body covered in sweat and totally weak. Eventually, I'd find some strength to get back into bed until another round of chills/fever would break through and I'd get myself back to the cold comfort of the bathroom floor before passing out. Finally after about 3 or 4 rounds of this and about 6 hours later, Mike would call my parents to see if they'd watch Jamie so we could figure out what was wrong at the doctor's office. Luckily, my parents were already in Bonney Lake shopping. Once they arrived, I was curled up on my bed but starting to feel a little better except for the tiny, jabbing spasms that would happen under my right ribcage. Eventually those spasms would extend to my shoulder, causing my breathing to get caught in my throat.
I tried to get up to get to the car but every attempt would end in me seeing all white and needing to get back down. That's when Mike decided that we'd go to the ER instead. I remember thinking that it felt so good to be outside and I could smell the freshly cut grass. I could sense my head clearing up and I started to wonder if I was making a big deal out of this. The ride to the ER was pretty uneventful but once it came time to get out of the car and walk to the doors, my body started to give away. I could hear someone asking if I needed a wheelchair and next thing I know, I'm sitting down, kind of spawled out. I could remember seeing two people in line ahead of me, giving me worried glances until a nurse would finally ask them if it was alright that I cut in front of them. I only saw the nurse for a minute before they rushed me to a bed and started to strip me of my clothes.
Then all the questions began; typical ones about my age, wheather I smoked or drank, my birthday, inquiries about the possibility of being pregnant. I remember feeling clear headed enough to answer their questions.
After awhile, there was a flurry of people, being poked several times with needles, getting my blood pressure checked and then the real pain started to happen. The doctor came in to nudge my stomach in several areas until he reached my ribs. The pain was so unbarable and I started to clutch my shoulder. He asked why I was holding my shoulder if my ribs hurt and I tried to tell him between gasping breaths that it was hurting my shoulders too. I couldn't control how fast the spasms were happening and I just remember kind of flopping on the bed each time, arching my back and gasping for breath. I kept asking for something to relax me but they'd keep telling me my bloodpressure was too low for them to give me anything. I'd demand Mike to tell me about something trival, anything, to keep me from overreacting and getting emotional. I couldn't stop thinking about the worse. They told me they think I was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy that burst one of my ovaries and now they feared I was bleeding internally. This would explain why I felt severe shoulder pain, due to the blood reaching my diaphram. After they conducted an ultrasound to see how much fluid was inside, they asked me what my blood type was and I replied between painful breaths that I was O negative. The doctor shook his head at Mike and I felt myself overreacting again.
He came over to tell me that my type was the hardest for them to obtain but if I needed a transfusion, which was likely, that I needed to sign a release. I couldn't sign it and asked Mike to do it on my behalf.
Finally, the operating room was ready. I could feel myself start to relax, knowing that they'd knock me out and I'd be asleep. I remember them wheeling me down the hallways and I could see myself in the occasional mirror. I was shocked at how white I was. I had no color to my lips.
Once I woke from the surgery, I started crying. It was rather painful but I couldn't make myself stop. The nurse told me I needed to try to calm myself but I just couldn't. There was another person in the room with me but I couldn't see him. I knew he was old and I immediately started to slow my crying. She told me they removed one of my ovaries and drained nearly 2 units of blood. No transfusion was necessary. The nurse assured me that I was alright and began to take me to my room.
I had to spend two nights at the hospital but I'm so lucky to have so many visitors and text messages :) It was a horrible experience but I'm happy to say I'm spending the next 2 weeks on the mend. Today is the first day I actually don't have a headache. It's still hard to get up and walk around but I feel a little better. I sleep very well at night, thanks to Vicadin lol :)
Anyway, I thought I'd share this with anybody who was wondering... I'll probably make all my grammer/spelling corrections another time. Thanks again, to everyone who bought me flowers, candy, magazines and brought their smiles and conversation. I really love having visitors so please, don't feel shy if you ever want to come visit me. :) I'm pretty lucky!
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