Monday, December 14, 2009


Mondays are supposed to be bad days traditionally. Mine have been somewhat relaxing. I choose to change my work schedule to Tues-Saturday so I could utilize Monday to get stuff done/relax/fart around. I throughly enjoy Monday.

I've also been taking these days to get to know Tacoma. I take different routes and get myself lost intentionally. Because Tacoma is set up very grid-like, it's super easy to navigate. So long as you understand all the roads stretch from one side of Tacoma to the other -the differences in region determines whether or not you're north or the south. I live in the North-end district of Tacoma sandwiched between Stadium district and Proctor District; the nice side of Tacoma. Literally 2 blocks east and you're in Hilltop- often thought of as the ghetto. Yes, it a little more modest than the rest of Tacoma but it's not as bad as it used to be. It's not run down, just very simple.
The upside to living in Tacoma is the vast resources available to people like me. Low income, single mom, dependant upon DSHS for a few resources. It's not hard to find places that offer financial aid. YMCA offers it and I'm definitely going to take advantage as soon as January. Another benefit to living here are libraries are scattered throughout as well as discount stores, thrift stores, antique stores... its easy to save money here.

The downside, in my opinion, are the hills. I hate driving on the hills in the rain and ice. I've already experienced rear ending someone (ironically- not in Tacoma)and it's a horrible feeling in your gut to know you're about to hit someone and dispite your efforts to keep your foot on the break, you sail right into their bumper. I'm still irritated over it. I want desparately not to have a repeat episode. I drive like a grandma in Tacoma. It's okay. Laugh, pass me or honk your horn- I am NOT going to go through the shock of hitting another car or god forbid- a person.

Anyhow, back on topic. Mondays. They're my ME days. I don't go out and get a McDonalds Frappe or anything... but sometimes I do induldge in white mochas and thirft stores. All by myself. Once the crazy time of year passes, I'll take care of important business on Mondays but for now, I need the downtime to just revel in the quiet.

Here are some random photos to tide y'all until the next post. Cheers!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Things have changed so much and so dramatically over the last 6 months. I certainly won't go into detail. I think I will just pick up from here and move on towards the future. I don't know if this blog will take on a different flavor but I hope it provokes hope, laughter and serious thoughts along the way. The journey has taken a different turn and new experiences have made their presence known. For the sake of respect and accuracy, I've decided to leave the older posts intact. The only things I've changed are my 100 goals; but not much.

Life inside Borders seems to be nearing an end, even if they won't admit it. It's not just the economy that's pushing it out the door either. Micro-managing, belittling, cutting and haggling are getting the job done just fine. In spirit of protecting myself and Jamie, I've decided to ask for help in going back to school. There's a woman I've been meeting with. For lack of a better name, I call her the 'Resources Lady'. She was referred to be by Jamie's school and she basically spends all her time researching and recommending resources for moms all over Tacoma that need help. She doesn't limit herself to only financial help either. I've tossed many needs her way and she jumps on each one with vigor and determination. In turn, she holds me accountable to a timeline to complete tasks and get things done. I've already booked an appointment to get Jamie seen by a doctor that should hopefully refer him to be seen by an Asperger's specialist. She helped me with insurance recommendations and the name of her favorite kids' doctor.
My current appeal to her was my interest in going back to school and if there were any resources that I can take advantage of because of my hearing disablity. She's already given me a few names but promises phone numbers the next time she visits. I'm pretty excited about this! I want to pursue Photography and/or design so I'm really hoping this will pan out! The only thing that holds me back are finances. I expressed to her my worries about paying bills if I were to go back to school full-time. She said she'd look into options for me. All I'm doing now is waiting for her phone call to set up another apointment to share info.

Other than this, Jamie and I have been painting ceramic ornaments in anticipation of our tree that we'll chop down tomorrow. I got a new camera and plan to take photos to share tomorrow night :) Stay tuned! I promise more posts and photographs. But for now, good night!

Saturday, May 30, 2009


A beautiful image from my latest session of Brittany and Marty :)

A silly image of Jamie...

I need to vent a bit about photography lately... I think I need some serious classes/therapy sessions (?) soon. Maybe I'm rusty from this extended break from taking photos or maybe my camera is being wacko... or I could be losing my touch but something just isn't sitting right with taking pictures. I feel like my creativity is non-existent. For the most part, I can set my camera up but when it comes to taking the shot, something is missing. I'm frustrated that I lack the crispness I desire, the perfect fleeting moments because the shutter clicks too slow, the heavy reliance on wide open aperture (as opposed to gaining comfort with shooting f/3.5 or higher). Not that there's anything wrong with shooting between f/1.4 and f/2.8... but I feel like I use them too often and it's causing me to miss opportunities or perspectives. I know this sounds like a lot of jargon but in layman's terms, I'm nervous about slowing my shutter speed down due to lack of light reaching my camera. When I shoot wide open, this lets me 'snap' faster. The draw back is the heavy blurring surrounding my main subject. While, I love the effect most of the time but sometimes, I want to make the entire shot crisp with details. This is difficult because the higher I go with f-stops, the longer it'll take my shutter to click, the more out of focus/blurry my entire image will be. I really don't want to haul around a tripod or my flash. *sigh* Guess I just need to step outside my comfort zone more often and just run with it.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

What's going on?

I'm sure I've got some curious questions so I wanted to take some time to fill my friends and family in on what's happened to me recently.

On Saturday around 4am, I woke up with severe stomach pains. I felt this the previous weekend so I thought I would just try to work through it and it would eventually go away. I would later find myself on the bathroom floor, my entire body covered in sweat and totally weak. Eventually, I'd find some strength to get back into bed until another round of chills/fever would break through and I'd get myself back to the cold comfort of the bathroom floor before passing out. Finally after about 3 or 4 rounds of this and about 6 hours later, Mike would call my parents to see if they'd watch Jamie so we could figure out what was wrong at the doctor's office. Luckily, my parents were already in Bonney Lake shopping. Once they arrived, I was curled up on my bed but starting to feel a little better except for the tiny, jabbing spasms that would happen under my right ribcage. Eventually those spasms would extend to my shoulder, causing my breathing to get caught in my throat.
I tried to get up to get to the car but every attempt would end in me seeing all white and needing to get back down. That's when Mike decided that we'd go to the ER instead. I remember thinking that it felt so good to be outside and I could smell the freshly cut grass. I could sense my head clearing up and I started to wonder if I was making a big deal out of this. The ride to the ER was pretty uneventful but once it came time to get out of the car and walk to the doors, my body started to give away. I could hear someone asking if I needed a wheelchair and next thing I know, I'm sitting down, kind of spawled out. I could remember seeing two people in line ahead of me, giving me worried glances until a nurse would finally ask them if it was alright that I cut in front of them. I only saw the nurse for a minute before they rushed me to a bed and started to strip me of my clothes.
Then all the questions began; typical ones about my age, wheather I smoked or drank, my birthday, inquiries about the possibility of being pregnant. I remember feeling clear headed enough to answer their questions.
After awhile, there was a flurry of people, being poked several times with needles, getting my blood pressure checked and then the real pain started to happen. The doctor came in to nudge my stomach in several areas until he reached my ribs. The pain was so unbarable and I started to clutch my shoulder. He asked why I was holding my shoulder if my ribs hurt and I tried to tell him between gasping breaths that it was hurting my shoulders too. I couldn't control how fast the spasms were happening and I just remember kind of flopping on the bed each time, arching my back and gasping for breath. I kept asking for something to relax me but they'd keep telling me my bloodpressure was too low for them to give me anything. I'd demand Mike to tell me about something trival, anything, to keep me from overreacting and getting emotional. I couldn't stop thinking about the worse. They told me they think I was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy that burst one of my ovaries and now they feared I was bleeding internally. This would explain why I felt severe shoulder pain, due to the blood reaching my diaphram. After they conducted an ultrasound to see how much fluid was inside, they asked me what my blood type was and I replied between painful breaths that I was O negative. The doctor shook his head at Mike and I felt myself overreacting again.
He came over to tell me that my type was the hardest for them to obtain but if I needed a transfusion, which was likely, that I needed to sign a release. I couldn't sign it and asked Mike to do it on my behalf.
Finally, the operating room was ready. I could feel myself start to relax, knowing that they'd knock me out and I'd be asleep. I remember them wheeling me down the hallways and I could see myself in the occasional mirror. I was shocked at how white I was. I had no color to my lips.
Once I woke from the surgery, I started crying. It was rather painful but I couldn't make myself stop. The nurse told me I needed to try to calm myself but I just couldn't. There was another person in the room with me but I couldn't see him. I knew he was old and I immediately started to slow my crying. She told me they removed one of my ovaries and drained nearly 2 units of blood. No transfusion was necessary. The nurse assured me that I was alright and began to take me to my room.
I had to spend two nights at the hospital but I'm so lucky to have so many visitors and text messages :) It was a horrible experience but I'm happy to say I'm spending the next 2 weeks on the mend. Today is the first day I actually don't have a headache. It's still hard to get up and walk around but I feel a little better. I sleep very well at night, thanks to Vicadin lol :)

Anyway, I thought I'd share this with anybody who was wondering... I'll probably make all my grammer/spelling corrections another time. Thanks again, to everyone who bought me flowers, candy, magazines and brought their smiles and conversation. I really love having visitors so please, don't feel shy if you ever want to come visit me. :) I'm pretty lucky!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Bad blog owner...

Sorry this blog has been rather blah lately. A lot has happened. Allow me to update you:

I've been adjusting to my new job. Working two stores is tough work; deadlines, different management styles, earlier hours, babysitting woes, huge greeting card relays... I'm not complaining though. I DO love my job and I love being busy. It keeps me sane and my mind occupied.

We've decided that living in a wooden-paneled kitchen stinks so we're currenting painting it! Yeah, it's about time! I'll post photos when we're through. All we have left are cabinet doors and we'll be free! Keep an open mind about the wall color when you see it...

Mike lost his job on Monday so things have been increasingly stressful. I don't think the reality of it has hit either of us just yet. I know we'll pull through somehow. If we have to sell our house, at least the kitchen looks cool.

So those are the main things going on right now.

On an unrelated note; is it me or does it seem like they're going to cancel Chuck??? I read rumors of it happening but UGH! I LOVE that show. =( Sad times, indeed.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Okay! Okay!

I've been told I need to update the blog.

It's true, I was offered the Paperchase Merchandiser position! I started my first day yesterday but offically, it feels more like today. Today I started back at the first store I worked with nearly 10 years ago; Federal Way. Of course, it's nothing like when I first started given they've relocated to the mall. But still, it's nice to be welcomed back by friendly faces.
I've had a full day of getting the shop caught up and starting a new clearance list (yeah, that's right CLEARANCE. Go shop there. Now. Preferably in Puyallup or Federal Way, of course). It's extremely quiet not using a walkie anymore. I kind of miss that need to make a comeback every so often. :)

In other news, Jamie's got 2 more soccer games left. The last game went very well! Mike took him this time and he said all the parents and even the coaches were suprised at how well Jamie did! I sincerely hope this trend continues. We're thinking of a new activity to sign him up for once soccer ends. He's asked for swimming lessons or violin. Yeah, violin... lol Who knows? I'll have to see if there's anyone around here that offers violin lessons.

That's all for now!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Severed ties?

By now I'm sure most of my friends and family have been informed of my job status. It's definitely in limbo. Will I have a job to go to March 23rd or will I join the thousands awaiting unemployment checks?

I've been amazingly calm over this with only a few moments of panic here and there. I haven't cried, which is probably not unusual if you know me :) It's the not knowing that makes me worry more with each day. I would almost rather know immediately. I've also been concerned about the other people that I've come to be friends with that are facing the exact challenge as me. It's not easy when you feel like your company might be giving you the shaft when you've been with them for so long and you've finally found what you're good at.

I called in sick today since I'm still fighting off the 24 hour flu and spoke with my boss over the phone. I didn't mention anything about interviews but she said that she wanted me to know that she'll be calling at the end of this week to set up times. Many friends have assured me that I've probably got nothing to worry about but it would be dumb of me not to consider other options if this is the end of my Borders career. I know that there are tons of talented people applying for my job. I've never actually been the 'best' at anything but I like to think I'm very good at what I do. I've always tried my hardest at each job I've been given. My track record would indicate so. Sure, I've never been accepted at any manager level jobs but it doesn't mean that what I do isn't important.

Somethings I've considered are going back to school. I'm not sure we could do this financially but it's fun to think about having the freedom to choose whatever class I want regardless of the days/times. Of course the other is to try that much harder for another baby. You can only try so hard, ya know? :) But I guess I'll have more time to focus on making sure I'm healthy. Luckily, we've got refinancing our house underway which will save us tons monthly along with a new pellet stove which should also help with the heating bill. We're doing what we can- just in case.

10 years is a long time to devote to one company. A retail one, at that. But yet, I've never quit. I would prefer to leave on my own terms but if this is just life telling me to turn my attention elsewhere, then I gotta respect that.

I'll post more info when I know for sure. I'm going to hope for the best!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

This is starting to become an odd facination with me... Where is Joaquin Phoenix? He has sworn off acting to pursue a hip-hop career. Or so he says? I feel like he's doing a huge joke on everyone... lol Watch the clips below...

The Late Show

And here's another clip of his performace...


Uh yeah...

So I'm going to keep my eye on him because this is too funny to pass up!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Winter Blahs

Everyone suffers from the winter blahs. Some of us don't deal as well as others (why are you looking at me?). I get teased for all those blogs I stalk daily but truly, they inspire my mind in ways that real life around me just can't. I get inspired when I'm at work sometimes but after years of being surrounded by what's popular for other people, you just lose interest- save for the occasional Juxtapoz art magazine.

If you're like me, searching for inspiration to fuel your creativity, check out this link by Decor8 (My FAVE blog ever...) Constant beautiful photographs and inspirational objects. Now if I weren't so lazy... lol

There are so many things I'd like to try; printing, painting, drawing, crafting jewerly, sewing (meh, still sore over my last endeavor), journaling, and of course- photography. Now that I've got Photoshop back up, albeit on Mike's computer, I can get back with the designing that I love to do.

I'm almost done with my hot cocoa. My left ear still aches and I think I'm catching a cold. It's a stress free day! :)

Best Passenger Complaint Letter

I cracked up while reading this... Seriously, it's entertaining and best of all, it's an actual complaint letter written to Virgin Airlines!

Click the link:
Best Passenger Complaint Letter


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The next step

I saw this quote on someone's blog and thought it was fitting given my circumstances;

"What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do." ~Unknown

It applies to all of us!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Bye bye rut!

It's been in the works for about a week now but I was contacted by a photographer that's new to the area to help her with an upcoming wedding! It's a free gig for me but this time around, I'm not in it for the money. I desparately need to get yanked from my little rut. Seriously.
Anyway, this photographer seems very knowledgeable with vast background in weddings, commercial, family and children photography. I'm wondering if this is my chance to really learn from someone who's been doing this awhile? I certainly hope she's willing! The upcoming wedding will be February 7th in Woodinville. Wish me luck! Check out the photographer's blog and website too if you're curious :)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Science Experiments

Since my car's in the shop, I thought Jamie and I might try to do some science experiments. They've got some Pop Bottle Science on Bargain for $5.99 at work and figured this was something Jamie would love.
First we started out with learning about water modelcules by adding food coloring drops to water and watching it snake its way through the water before dispersing. I let him pour the water and do the drops himself. He was quite proud!
The second experiment ended in total failure, totally my fault. We attempted to secure a balloon to the opening of the pop bottle and submerge it in hot water in a saucepan. The 2nd saucepan had cold water. In theory, the hot water would make the balloon inflate and move it to the cold water would do the opposite. I figured they meant boiling hot water and of course, this resulted in the bottom half of the bottle being a melted, shrivled-well, bottom half of a bottle. It still stands upright, it just looks weird.
I promised Jamie after school we'd try another experiment and he wanted to do the food coloring one again. This time we added blue and green coloring. I figured for the sake of making this more interesting, we'd add other ingredients and see what happens. His eyes lit up as he thought of all the possibilities in our kitchen. We used lemon juice, buttermilk, regular milk, salt, soda, cinnamon, rasins (which is the brown blob inside the bottle) baking soda and ice cubes. Nothing particularly exciting from a scientific point of view but to him, it was the raddest thing ever! I snapped a few shots of Dr. Jamie concocting his potion of awesomeness. :)

Friday, January 9, 2009


Today was Jamie's first day of school since agreeing to an IEP with the school. He was definitely excited as the bus pulled up to our driveway! I got to spend an hour doing nothing, really. I mean, I went out for a run and couldn't even make it to the end of the street. I'm so out of shape! But an hour later, the bus dropped Jamie off and now he's buzzing with excitement :) He had a good first day, even if his days are only an hour long.
Yesterday, we bought him a Webkinz dog. We brought him home and "adopted" him online and named him Crush (Jamie wanted Orange but since he was a black dog, I pursuaded him to go with He's been doting on his little dog ever since. When he got home from school today, I suggested he make a dog house for Crush. After finding some cardboard and me cutting a door and window, he proceeded to fill it with a pillow and blanket for Crush's bed. It was pretty cute :)

Thursday, January 8, 2009


Hi all,

I suppose since it's my birthday I should say a few words. It's my last year of being in my twenties although, it doesn't feel like it's possible that I'm already here. Yet, I am and so with that realization, I should try my best this year to make the most of it. After all, once you enter your thirties, there's no going back. I have heard that your thirties are supposed to be better than your twenties. I can almost see the logic. You've passed idenity confusion, graduated college (some people), established yourself in the working world, found your mate and possibly produced spawn. Your thirties are about maintaining order and solidifying your best quailities. So I guess I should think in terms that I only have one more year to be utterly confused about myself before I can give it up and start accepting it! :)

There are a bunch of trival things I'd like to accomplish this year (as well as important things!). First (not in order of priorities) I think I'd like to get a tattoo. Like I said, trival... but still, once I'm in my thirties, it'll seem like I'm trying too hard. But if I get it in my twenties, it'll be normal. Right? I'm thinking too hard about this. Anyway, I know exactly what I want and where I want it. It's nothing vulgar and it's not overly public. If I get the courage to do it, I'll post a photo :)

Speaking of photos... I still haven't heard back from Mike's brother on the status of my harddrive. I've been given a list of places that will recover harddrives if it boils down to that. You only pay if they get anything. If they can't, you wouldn't have wasted money. In my opinion, my photos are priceless. Especially those of Jamie and my family. Maybe this is all about really opening my eyes and seeing the beauty in everyday things; not about perfect lighting conditions or location. I've put my camera away for the most part. I think I'm really scared to delete anything off the memory card in fear that my actual computer will kiss the dust. It's definitely been acting strange. We've discussed getting a new computer; either beef up my existing one or convert to a Mac. The materialism in me REALLY wants a Mac. It's beautiful piece of machinery that seemly operates flawlessly. Of course, I've heard the very rare stories in which things go wrong but they're things such as rain damage, severed cords... Not viruses... Oh the longing... I want badly to pay off my credit cards too. So, that's another priority this year; situate my computer issues.

In going forward with another priority, I did sell my xbox in efforts to pay off a chunk of one of my credit cards. I felt a weight being lifted and the guilt over buying it went away. Now if I can just find the cash to throw towards my other one...

And last in my list of priorities (and most certainly, an important one), I've made it our goal to give Jamie more siblings either this year or next. If in six months nothing has happened, I'll make an appointment to get things checked out. For the sake of family members reading this, I won't go further into details ;)

Ok, now I'm off to help Jamie with his game. Gotta unlock a door...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Friday, January 2, 2009

For Sale

It's true. I've decided that due to nonuse, I'm going to be selling my xbox. Lucky for me, my xbox Live Gold account expired Jan 1st. If you're interested; here's the details...

} 6 months old
) 60 gig HD
} Two panels (controllers, for all you non-gamers )
} Games included; Halo 3, Fable II, Lost Odyssey, Grand Theft Auto 4, FFXI online (with all expansions)
} One Headset
} $500 OBO

It's a steal, if I say so myself :)

Just make a comment and let me know.